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An Attempt
at Failure Could Lead to Success
By Larry Jacobs, The Sunday Telegraph, Sunday,
August 6, 2000
The unspeakable arrogance of the first stage of the
dot-com world is bringing about its demise. Everybody, no matter
how inexperienced, who had any kind of dot-com idea was going to
become a millionaire. Profits didn't matter.
Well, it's time to put failure in perspective and, it's hoped, Jason
Zasky will become a success at Failure. Zasky is the editor-in-chief
of a new online magazine called Failure, which can be seen
at failuremag.com. It's worth a look.
I get sick of magazines such as Success, which always show
people that made a fortune from some multi-level company. I hate
anybody who's more successful than me. I hate the ads in those magazines,
too. "Make a fortune," they scream, "licking envelopes during the
down time of your Bean-Crème vegetable flavored ice cream franchise."
Then they show some guy smiling near a vat of Lima Bean Low-Fat
Sherbet. Frankly, they drive me nuts because not everybody makes
money off bad ice cream. It's time for a change.
If you think Failure is a crazy idea for a magazine, I heartily
disagree. Failure is just fine, and anyone who doesn't think
they can fail deserves not to succeed. George Santayana said it
best: "Anyone who doesn't understand history is doomed to repeat
it."
Remember your history. Our continent was "discovered" by Christopher
Columbus, who was looking for India. The island of Hispanola, which
Senor El Navigator Stupido accidentally bumped into, is about as
close to India as Nashua is to Vladivostok. He failed! But he just
did a great "CYA" job with his investors.
To give Queen Isabella a good cover story, he decided to name the
people he met "Indians." Why not? He reported with a straight face,
"Listen, your Majesty, how could they be called 'Indians' if it
isn't India?" Put that way, it sort of makes sense. Just goes to
show you that Zasky is on the right track. You can make a fortune
from Failure.
Failures make great movies in abundance, and we eat them up. The
highest-grossing film of all time is "Titanic." Hello! It sank!
There are no movies about the ships that made it across and didn't
let a single first-class passenger get his or her toes wet, but
sink and you get Leonardo DiCaprio.
How many films have been made about General Custer, who was as dumb
as toast and whose ego makes Warren Beatty seem shy. A total flop,
yet for 100 years he was a hero. They even made a classic movie
about him. It was called "They Died with their Boots On," but my
research staff informs me the original title was far more truthful:
"They Died with their Pants Full." Some hero, but he gets a movie.
How about "The Alamo"? We lost that one, too. But please keep in
mind, "It's a Wonderful Life" was a box office flop. It's a real
story of not giving up. That film, now America's most beloved movie,
can teach us more from its true story. Some flop!
Yet Americans love failure. People loved watching another Kevin
Costner go down the drain, so to speak, after "Waterworld," whose
production costs went arrogantly out of control. John DeLorean made
major news for weeks as his car company sank around him, arrogantly
believing he could sell cocaine for financing. We loved it.
He's just one of the mighty we have gleefully watched fail. How
many of us are saying, "I told you so," as dot-com businesses go
down the tube from nothing more than unspeakable arrogance. After
speaking of DeLorean, we all still chuckle madly over New Coke.
Failure Magazine is online. I'm betting on Zasky and his
idea because the day we lose the understanding of failure, we lose
the opportunity for success.
This article appeared on D-2 of the Sunday Telegraph, Sunday, August
6, 2000
Copyright © 2000 The Sunday Telegraph
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